So we killed Festergut and Rotface last Wednesday. They had cockblocked us for quite a while, especially Festergut, with his beastly DPS check. We just had to beat Rotface into people’s heads enough to where their muscle memory said SIR, YES SIR! and jumped where I said, but Festergut was like Eat This, Bitches for a while now. Well, they both be dead now, and we all teabagged em. Well, Rifen did, because he’s sick like that.

Flawless execution on this one, seriously.

This guy was a cock, but we stuck it to him (Rifen stuck it IN him).

Then, we went back in there on Monday, and I was all set to wipe for a while on Blood Princes. But GUESS WHAT. We took a few attempts to learn the encounter, and then killed those fuckers on our first night of attempts. That’s right. We are now 7 of 12 in Icecrown Citadel, and should be about 23rd on the server (once wowprogress updates).

Rifen's balls always sweat on this boss. Like, dripping.

And, since Fester and Rotface 25 are dead, somebody got some blood from em! Congrats to Torsain on the guild’s first Shadow’s Edge!

FEED ME YOUR SOUL

Either (A) Blizz forgot to give these Blood Prince guys decent armor and/or put pussies where their dicks should have been, or (B) they decided on their own that they’d look better in fine-tailored cloth with no cheating-boss-armor-thing, or (C) Ferg, Bob, and Bow walk around town with massive raging crit and arpen hardons. They probably hear about it a lot from the chicks in Starbucks: “Oh, Bob, such a mighty crit you have! Oh, Bow, such amazing penetration you have! Oh, Ferg … did you get in there yet?”

Hmm.

Anyway, turns out Rifen’s a better tank than Cortindal (who knew?), Vinny’s accent goes hillbilly when he’s impaled from behind, and Bob still manages to spread his hatred and world domination influence through massive Vent lag.

Here’s a killshot.

Sic Semper Prettyboyus

So we’ve been running around killing bosses made of bits of Bob’s nutsack and Rifen’s asshair, faking out Horde in epic suicide moves then rolling them over like dogs in heat, and face-raping Ulduar hardmodes for the hell of it. Some of us have been listening to Lady Gaga and have gotten kicked for it. Others have just been talking about boobs and penii, which is a much more suitable pastime for decent folk. Certain people have been putting guilt trips on the GM the size of the iceberg that zerged the Titanic. Other people have been perfecting their finishing moves for next hurricane season. One guy revealed his in-game mail terrorist skills. Rifen got loose and was found lost in the woods. We discovered that Johnny Cash wrote a song about Dannek. But mainly we’ve just been drinking beer, stretching any comment into dick humor, and watching Zantoo get shot down by every female on the fucking server.

In other news, we’re full on DPS. Don’t ask. We could use a full-time Resto Druid and a Holy/Disc Priest, though.

Anyway.

EAT THIS.

Rifen's babyface gives this guy a chubby.

Horde got totally rolled. For serious, we had Dannek strategizin'.

Lots of 10 and 25 stuff in there. We got all these on a Thursday afternoon, by the way.

Caught In A Bad Romance